An excerpt from the text of You can’t clean this, I was born dirty - A self-portrait
Hi friends, how should i start this?
I´ve said I love you to 10 people in my life, but I only meant it 4 times. I'm addicted to alcohol. But as long as you admit it to yourself, you are not depending on it right? So it should probably be okay, and two years into a pandemic who is not? Drinking alcohol makes it easier to sleep, but it's a sleep I get tired of. I don´t listen to people.
I'm addicted to cigarettes but I only smoke when I drink. Now I'm starting to think that my bad alcohol habits mean that I really just want to smoke? Smoking takes up too much time. I get bored everywhere.
I often cry over the thought of myself. Or maybe it's better to describe what I look like so it's a little easier for you to understand. So you can see what I look like if you look at my self-portraits, I mean what I see when I see myself. I am average, neither too short nor too long. I have always been fat no matter how much I run. I never get slimmer. Im getting harder to like the older I get. The nose I do not know exactly where it comes from. I cannot remember or look at old pictures of someone in my family who has had such a potato-like nose. I didn't say I hated myself. I have strong legs that are very often tired. Is it because I walk or run so much, or does it have to do with everything I carry on my shoulders?
Why did we become strangers again?
Charlie Fjätström is an artist currently doing his International MFA at Trondheim Academy of Fine Art in Trondheim, Norway, and is represented by Vasli Souza.
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